Let her go
by SpanishLily
Summary: AU. After receiving an invitation to Naomi's wedding in Germany, Emily "mental" Fitch decides it's okay to crash her party and see if she could finally let Naomi go.
1. Chapter 1

_"I don't like the way the Frankfurt airport looks…so industrial, so very cold and impersonal. But my friend Naomi is getting married that weekend in Salzburg and I had no other choice but to board two different flights just to get there in time. You see, I hadn't quite booked my flights correctly, or at least I hadn't gotten a chance to. Well anyway, that's what I told people had happened. What really happened was that I had received the invitations out of time and it conflicted with one of my photo-shoots…_

_Alright, I'll stop lying. I'll be truthful. I hate the idea of Naomi getting married. I hate the idea of having to go see her walk down the aisle with some tosser she had met here in Germany while on one of her fucking I-need-to-be-alone trips. Yeah, so fucking alone that you didn't think twice before jumping into a long distance relationship with this Carlos…and fucking ey, here I am…taking two fucking planes and a four hour train ride just to see you. Fuck, Naomi…fuck, me. _

_I am Emily, by the way. Do you think they'll give us something to drink in this flight?_

So Emily wasn't feeling very much like Emily during that flight. She spent the entire time telling her poor seat mate the ins and outs of the things that happened between her and Naomi a few years before. Her seat mate had to sit and listen to her blab on for the full nine hour flight from Dallas to Frankfurt. The flight from Miami, where she was finishing a fashion shoot for a very prestigious magazine had to be cancelled because Emily Fitch had decided that she was going to attend Naomi's wedding after all. And there was no turning back now. Emily was determined to make the most of the entire trip. She had been in Frankfurt a few times for work, but she had never been to Munich or Salzburg…for that matter. She actually planned on going for Oktoberfest during one year with Katie and her boyfriend but then she had remember that this was the place where Naomi had met Carlos and she really had started to hate the place…with a passion. She actually just started hating Germany in its entirety…and she wasn't too fond of Spain either. That's where Carlos' family was from, though he had moved to Germany as a youngster. So in fact, Emily should hate both countries, but she had given Spain a chance because she really liked Sangria and her nana lived in Malaga. Those were the only two reasons she spared Spain of her pure hatred. But Germany she definitely hated….and was pretty sure that Germany hated her right back.

_"Yes, that's right….my name IS Emily Fitch. Isn't that what it says on my passport? And as I told you already, I am here for a wedding, but I am a UK Citizen so it shouldn't be a problem."_

Emily was having problems again with customs in the Frankfurt Airport and it was thanks for her wonderful sister. Katie Fucking Fitch had really ruined shit for her. That cow got involved with some Mexican mobster's son while on holiday in Cozumel and was arrested and then had the bright idea to fled the country with the Mexican to Lord-knows-where, just because she loved him or some shit.

Love really makes people fucking stupid. Katie was fucking stupid and she had made Emily's life completely impossible because now her last name and her fucking picture was in the most wanted, no-fly list. She couldn't even count the times she had been taken off the stupid airline queue or taken to the back at customs when entering pretty much any country. It was really fucking inconvenient.

_"That's why I know I am being a tosser by coming to this wedding. I really hope Naomi appreciates the gesture of me taking time out of my busy schedule and even worse…having to go through all this shit once again just to attend a wedding that I rather never attended. Unless I was part of it, of course. I like as the other bride…or something."_

The immigration officer at the Frankfurt Airport couldn't care less about Emily's story. In fact, she probably only understood like 30% of what she was really saying as Emily would switch back and forth between her native British accent, her acquired Miami accent and some really bad German she had learned in college; just to humor Naomi, by the way. Things were going really badly for Emily Fitch that day. But really, when weren't they? It seemed like every time Naomi Campbell crossed her paths she brought with her a wave of pure and unadulterated bad luck to Emily's life. In fact, even the name Naomi Campbell was curse, as Emily had once gotten the chance at a shoot with the real Naomi Campbell; the famous one, and at the very last minute she had called to say her pinky had been broken while playing beach sand Frisbee and she cancelled on Emily. And then after that things got really complicated and she left the city and they could never make it work. She really didn't even know why she insisted on having anything with Naomi…even a friendship. It was dumb…it was absurd….it was humiliating. But she was dying to see her. Even if for one last time.

_"I am bringing her this present. She's probably not going to cherish it like she might have cherished it if we had been together, but this is the actual note that she left me when we fought that day about her sleeping with that girl Sophia during her Uni open-day. She left it for me stuck on her mother's house door so that I could see it when I came in. But she was looking the entire time. I know she was waiting to see my reaction…I kept the darn paper. It says "I'll do anything." It means nothing now. It's just rubbish. But I want her to have it because I've been trying to get rid of it for several years now but every time I am determined to break it into a million pieces I read it…and then my heart melts and I decide to keep it once again."_


	2. Chapter 2

Emily Fitch has been attending a counseling session twice a week with a very prestigious shrink in Miami Beach. He is supposed to be excellent, but the truth is that she really can't trust him too much. Every time she goes to see him he looks bored of hearing her talk about Naomi and after a few minutes into her consultation he starts to ask her about pooping. He's obsessed with pooping. He wants to constantly know if the medication he prescribed her has been making her constipated and she has told him many times that she tries to eat fruit and stay hydrated through the day so that this never happens again. Still, no matter how the day has gone…with Dr. Schultz it all goes right back to shit…no matter where it starts.

_"I am staying with Pandora, one of our mates from college. She and her husband Thommo have rented out a suite in a hotel in Munich for them and the kids and that's where I am going to stay. I didn't wanna stay by myself. Not that I couldn't afford it…I am a prestigious photographer…did I mention that already?"_

She carries around her camera everywhere because she never knows when she's going to get a good picture. She thinks that maybe when she arrives in the _Hauptbahnhof_ in Munich, she might be able to take a few pictures and walk around the city before she has to meet her mates.

"_I didn't want them to meet me at the train station because I didn't want to get all emotional when I saw them. I actually haven't seen any of them for a really long time…except for Naomi…I see her every day. Oh right….my order….sorry…I think I'll have the pint of Hefeweizen to start and then I'll go from there…danke."_

She has never felt as alone in life as she feels at the exact moment. After having drank so much beer that it was coming out of her ears, two of the tourist guys that had come over to hit on her at the biergarten have now gotten bored with her conversation and left her alone.

She looks around to see if she sees anyone familiar, but then she remembers that she's in an entirely different country and that the only people who know her here are all probably together having some kind of welcome lunch which she refuses to go to. The least Emily wants to do is meet Carlos' parents or see Gina and Kieran play proud parents to the beautiful bride. She actually rather be alone at this time because the least she's in the mood for at this exact moment is seeing anyone she knows…she's way better off alone.

"Emiliooooooo"

"Oh God"

"You didn't think you was gonna hide from the cookie monster for too long did ya?"

"Hi Cook"

She gets up from the communal table where she was now had been sitting alone and moves over to let other people sit while the polka band starts playing.

"Are you here alone or with me Katie-kins?"

"Don't even get me started on Katie…"

"Oh right…I almost forgot she's out on the run…finally, something to make good ole' Cookie proud…."

Emily doesn't feel like talking about the incident with Katie and she knows that Cook is just trying to tick her off and laugh about the mess her sister has placed herself into, something that usually makes Emily mad and he really loves to see her rowdy…"

"Listen, I am gonna going to the hotel and change a bit and rest before tonight's dinner, yea…I haven't slept for three days…"

"I haven't neither…but you don't hear me complaining. Now stop being such a twat and let me buy you another pint of what you were having…you gotta relax a bit Emilio…enjoy the moment…so Naoms is getting married…it is the 21 century and we now have these wonderful little papers called divorce. I got me two of them already. No biggie. It's not the end of the world, you know."

"It's alright Cook…I really rather go."

Before Cook could try to start to talk again she took her bag and started walking out of the pub into the street. She didn't even want to break; she just wanted to get the heck out of there. So Emily started walking around frantically until she came to a really big church in one of the town squares. So she decided to go in.

"This will probably be one of the only places Cook won't get a hold of me…I am sure."


	3. Chapter 3

The church was filled with tourist and some people praying on the benches and looking up the gold incrusted statue of the Christ. She hadn't been to church since she was nine and her nana had insisted that her mom sent her and Katie down to Malaga to celebrate their communion. Emily wasn't very religious and neither was her mom but she had done it for the sake of not arguing and it hadn't been such a bad experience. After all, she never felt like she was much of a sinner. She was generally a good person and while she did have her faults, she was sure heaven had to take into consideration that she had been constructed of the same genetic material as Katie Fitch. So if she had turned out as well as she had having come from such dire compost, she was sure there was hardly anything she could do that would top anything Katie had ever done before her. She was the good twin.

"Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been 22 years since my last confession"

She was in Munich, in a church, trying to fight her demons and the past that haunted her. What was the harm in getting a little help from the guy upstairs?

"Tell me daughter, what sins have you committed?"

"I actually don't even know father…I wish I knew what I had done wrong…I wish I knew what it was that I did so that maybe I could fix all this stuff that's happening to me right now. "

Emily actually didn't know. She was convinced that all she had done with regards to Naomi had been correct and that she had just been unlucky in love, like many people had told her. But even as she tried to convince herself that Naomi had just simply stopped loving her…or even worse…had never actually loved her at all…she started to feel ill and wasn't able to accept it. She wasn't ready to let it go.

"Sometimes we just need to leave things in God's hands and let go, my child"

"I have done…I have left it all behind and have moved to a different country, have started to focus on my career, I have even pursued relationships with other people…but I just can't control it what I feel for Naomi. I can't stop loving her, father…is that my sin? Is love really a sin? Am I being punished for loving her?"

"_Love isn't a sin my child…but greed is. The bible says it in 1__st__ Corinthians, Chapter 13 that…_

_'True love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. __It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. __Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. __It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.'_

_ "You must learn to love her truly and to do that you must let go and trust that she loves you enough to run right back to you_."

* * *

After a few hours of walking around Munich she gets tired of carrying around her bag and feels ashamed that people are starting to look at her as she was one of those crazy American kids that backpack through Europe. She certainly looks like she's one of them, since she's didn't really bother to change since she left Miami…which was now almost a day and half ago. She hadn't slept a wink since then and thinks about going to the hotel.

Emily doesn't wanna head to the hotel, but she knows she has to because she is going to have to get changed before seeing her mates. She doesn't mind Pandora and Thomas seeing her in these threads, but she wouldn't wanna have to have Naomi see her dressed this way….

She takes her phone ever so often and goes through the pictures of Naomi that she has recorded on her sim card. Some older ones, new ones she's stolen from her Facebook and some private ones that she told Naoms she had gotten rid of. She didn't get rid of them. They were beautiful. They were part of her life. She didn't get rid of anything, even though her reason for even living abroad was to start a new life…her life pretty much revolved around Naomi. So this is why she doesn't get rid of them. This is her life and life has to have mementos. She's a photographer and her pictures are part of her artwork and her soul and are her life.

"Maybe it's time to let you go, Naoms…"

Without even thinking it twice she opens her phone and pulls out the sim card and throws it into a garbage bin nearby. Then she takes a deep breath and walks into the reception of the hotel with the instructions that Pandora and Thommo had emailed her a day earlier.

Maybe she isn't ready for everything that's about to happen but she cannot wait it out any longer.

"I am staying in Suite 1221, reserved under Tomone-Moon."

"Right this way, miss…"

"Her goes nothing…"


	4. Chapter 4

_"I thought I'd wear this to the dinner, but if you think that it's a bit too fancy I'll change Pandora. I thought this was more of fancy wedding."_

It was typical of Emily to get so caught up in her packing that she'd pack everything but what she was supposed to. She wanted desperately to have used those hours that she spent walking around Munich doing some shopping. Pandora thought that her dress was way too fancy, but what she actually means is that it's too provocative. Emily's friend Rolando, this fashion designer and his boyfriend Serg helped her pick out just the dress for the first time she would see Naomi. Stunning was what she needed to be and though now she was a bit self-conscious about what Panda has told her…she's wearing it anyway. Eat your heart out, Naomi Campbell.

_"Holy shitzle Emilio, what in the bloody hell are you wearing? I thought for a minute there Katie-kins had decided to make a last minute appearance."_

That was Cook again. He seemed to be following Emily around, or at least that's what it felt like all of a sudden. Though Cook's comment was out of hand, she did have to admit that she felt a little out of whack wearing a dress that made her look like Katie so much.

_"I think maybe I should go change, then…"_

_"No, no…you looking sexy babes…just what the old Naoms needs to kick some sense back into that hollow hippie head of hers, ya hear…nothing wrong with a little shock therapy to get the show running…"_

After running back in the room and look at herself in the mirror once more, she decides to change add a jacket to hide some of the cleavage and change her shoes into something more, her style. She tones her make-up down a bit and takes another deep breath before going outside…where once again Cook is waiting.

_"You still here Cook? Why are you following me"_

_" Effy is the maid of honor, so that means I don't have a date and neither do you…I thought we might be able to enter the hall together, babes…that's all"_

Emily was too smart, even for her own good. She knew what they were up to and she didn't blame them for having Cook follow her around everywhere to try to prevent her from making an idiot out of herself. But this time, Emily wasn't going to do that. She had started to let go of all this stuff that was going on inside of her and she wasn't going to ruin anything. Despite her urge to do so, she was going to act like who she was…a true lady. She had to start growing up and start to let go.

"_Don't worry about me Cook…I won't give you much trouble today. I've started to let go."_

_"Let go of what babes?"_

_"Of your friend Naomi…I am letting go of this whole thing…tonight is just about having some fun with friends, free food and drinks and letting go…"_

_"Alright then…let's go at it together, shall we?"_

_"Fine! But no more Katie-jokes"_

_"No more…"_

_"And don't let me drink too much…I am taking medication…"_

_"So am I…"_

_"Yes, but mine aren't for recreational purpose…"_

_"Maybe that's what you're missing Emilio…a little less medication…a little more action…"_

The reception was large and filled with people talking and walking around everywhere. Emily had to admit it was a rather beautiful hall but she also noticed there were a lot of people she did not know at this party. For a minute she was glad she was with Cook and realized that it would've been really horrid to have walked into this on her own. Without telling him why, she pulled him over toward her and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

_"Thanks for being my date, cookie"_

_"That's what I am here for babes…now let's get this party started!"_

Emily couldn't help but laugh at Cook's antics and walk over to where Thomas, Pandora, JJ and Lara were standing having a drink. Near her friends she felt a lot more at ease. And she started to loosen up a bit about having to see Naomi and Carlos. She had to admit she was still rather nervous but felt this was in a way necessary for her well-being. For the first time in a long time, Emily Fitch was actually actively letting go of all these things that haunted her and loosening up…and living it up like she had needed for a very, very long time.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Are you nervous to see her again?"_

_"I am"_

_"I still don't see why you'd invite her to this Naoms…you didn't have to."_

_"I know"_

_"So why did you?"_

_"Panda says she's not doing well. She actually sent me that video of their vacation to Disney with the kids. She did nothing but cry every time she saw anything that reminded her of…you know…"_

_"Well that's exactly my point…I think inviting her only enables her…what if she goes mental and tries to do something stupid in the middle of the reception or the mass for that matter….oh Naomi…how embarrassing would that be?"_

_"Don't worry Eff, I've already thought of that….I've got someone covering just that…"_

_"You mean Cook?"_

_"Yea, I mean Cook…he promised he could handle it…he told me that he was going to keep everything with Emily under control and not to worry…"_

_"And you believed him Naomi? I thought you were smarted than that…"_

_"Are you calling me stupid?"_

_"Not stupid…just that you sometimes don't think straight…since when has Cook EVER been able to keep anything or anyone in control…he can't even keep himself in check, much less your mental ex-gilfriend."_

* * *

Effy was completely right, but the time Carlos and Naomi were going down the steps to introduce and welcome everyone Cook had the party going strong. In one end he had Thomas and Freds going into shot wars against Carlos' crazy Spaniard cousins…and on the other side he had a crazy dance-a-thon between Pandora, Lara and..of course there was Emily.

_"Oh God…there she is…"_

_"You'd be fine…she hasn't seen you…look at her…she looks like she's having a lot of fun."_

Effy kept Naomi in check as she walked over to Carlos who was now getting ready to introduce her to his extended Spanish family.

And Emily was in fact having a lot of fun. She had started to drink a little more and was now all loosen up and trying not to think about having to face Naomi or Carlos or anyone else.

She wasn't even thinking about anything…She was just dancing and taking shots and drinking and smoking…just being the Emily she hadn't been for quite a while now. And that was her plan for the rest of the night…just be Emsy…Emsy who lets go…

But her plan was about to fail her miserably because only steps away was Carlos and Naomi about to make the rounds thanking everyone for coming.

_"Oh bollocks…"_

_"What?"_

Emily looked at what Panda and Cook were looking at and suddenly she found herself staring into her eyes. She loved Naomi's eyes so much that she couldn't help but look at her and she felt like her heart was going to explode inside her chest cavity.

_"I'll be right back…"_

She took Cook's hand in hers and moved away from the dance floor and started to walk toward the bar.

_"What are you doing? I thought you were letting go babes…"_

_"I don't know Cook…I don't know…I am starting to flip out…hand me my purse…where IS my purse?"_

On the other side of reception hall Naomi felt like she was going to be able to keep standing on her feet. She hadn't seen Emily for a really long time and seeing her was…it was just too much for her.

_"Would you all excuse us for a second…I'll be right back…"_

She took Effy with her and walked toward away from where Carlos and Emily and everyone else was. She needed a smoke.

_"I need a fucking smoke Eff…I think I am going to have a heart attack…what the fuck is wrong with me? Am I crazy? Why would I fucking invite her to my wedding? This is some kind of self-loathing sabotage…I fucking hate my life."_

_"I told you so…"_

_"Thanks…you're a real comfort Effy Stonem…"_

_"I am just telling you the truth Naoms…did you think this was going to be as simple as it played out in your head?. Look at you…you're in your fucking pre-wedding reception and you're still unable to face her…you're real stupid… y'know…"_

_"And you're a fucking bitch" she told Effy while walking away from her infernal criticism. She knew this wasn't a good idea. She knew that this was the stupidest idea she'd had in her whole entire life…but she really did not know what the fuck she was doing. When it came to Emily Fitch she never knew what the fuck she was doing. _

_"I hate you Emily Fitch…when am I gonna be able to let you go?"_

Meters away, Emily looked tense, even if she had down a couple of pints and taken her pills and was even doing some breathing exercises she had goggled in the airport. But she was just minutes, or maybe even seconds from having seen Naomi again and everything she felt was running through her body and suddenly she had started to feel sick to her stomach. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea not eat anything and drink so much and not sleep and…oh fuck….she needed to puke.

_"Get the fuck out of the way Cook…"_

She definitely needed to fucking puke and now she was heading to the loo in a rush but it was closed to she ran into the kitchen and right past a hallway and she opened the door to Lord-knows-where and ran in a puked her fucking guts out. It was the most disgusting moment she'd had in a long time.

_"Oh Geezus, what the fucking am I doing to myself?"_

For a moment she sat in the darkness and didn't even bother to turn on a light…she just needed to catch her breath. That's when she heard a knock on the door.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Is everything alright in there? Are you okay?_

_"I am…I am alright…I'll be out in just a minute."_

It was Naomi. She had opened the fucking door and it was fucking Naomi Campbell wearing the most beautiful dress she'd ever seen her on and with her beautiful brown hair and those beautiful eyes that looked at her all worried. She thought she was gonna puke again.

_"Emily?"_

_"Naoms"_

That was the slowest moments of both their lives. It literally took forever. Like things were in slow motion and everyone and everything was super exaggerated…like they had taken some of Effy's favorite pills and mixed it with a little bit of Cook's homemade licor. It was fucking disgusting.

_"Are you alright?" _

_"Ye…yea…I am ok…I am fine….yea….I just think I am a bit jet lagged and I have forgotten to eat….so y'know…my sugar probably dropped or something…"_

_"Yea"_

_"But I'll be ok"_

_"Sit, please"_

_"Yes, I'll sit."_

You know when you can't take your eyes off a person and you really don't know what to say. When everything is rushed but things are going so slow that you can't even believe you're living that moment. That's what Emily felt. She thought she was going to be sick again, but it was a different kind of sickness. She didn't need to puke but she did…she did need to breathe because she knew she was about to pass out."

Before she knew it, Naomi had fetched her something to drink from the kitchen next door…

_"Here, drink this…,it might help" _

_"Thank you"_

Now Naomi was even closer than ever. It felt like that time they were at Pandora's birthday party when they had just met Pandora and they had both gotten drunk and Emily told her to just fucking kiss her. It was like that, except the words didn't come out her mouth. She was saying them in her mind, but she was fidgeting with the glass of juice and some of it was falling on her dress and it was quite embarrassing."

_"Oh Lord…"_

Suddendly she was so nervous she had not just dropped the rest of the juice on herself but she had also managed to empty out her small purse in the couch they were sitting on.

_"I'll get it….it's okay"_

_"No, you don't need to bother…"_

_"Don't worry…let me do it…"_

Before Emily could stop her, Naomi picked up some of the stuff and placed it back on Emily's bag and then took a napkin and started to help her with her dress. Now Naomi was touching her and Emily was really just holding her breath and trying not to look too nervous and trying to concentrate on not sending her the wrong signals because she had promised herself she was going to remain calm…she was letting go.

But Naomi was caressing her with that napkin. She was drying up some juice from her dress and she wouldn't stop to look at her even though Emily could not stop looking at Naomi. She followed her with her eyes. She wanted to have their eyes meet at some point, but Naomi refused to look at her straight in the eyes. It was really awful.

_"How was your flight?"_

_"It was quite good. I had a very nice seat mate and we talked a lot of the way to Frankfurt."_

_"Oh, you came in through Frankfurt…I thought you had found the flight directly to Munich…"_

_"I didn't wake up on time"_

Emily snorted while she laughed and then felt stupid after she had done it. She had caught the snorting thing from Katie who often did it while she was nervous. She actually wished Katie was here, even though she was one of the people that helped ruin her life. She actually wished anyone was here…anyone to interrupt the awkwardness of this moment…or maybe she just had to do it herself."

_"I am feeling kind of awkward now…since we haven't said much to each other for like 3 minutes…so I am just gonna go and let you finish up here…I bet Cook is tired is waiting for me outside the loo"_

_"Yea, okay" _

She stood up as fast as she could but keeping careful not to fall. Those pills were actually helping her relax now so she was glad. Maybe she'd take one more just so that she'd be out of it and the night could be over. Lord knows it was all over for her.

She thought maybe she'd stay for a bit so that everyone knew she was fine but thankfully Lara was too frenetically worried about her kids staying in the hotel with the nanny so she decided to tag along with them and head over to her room. She'd rather be playing Wii with Thomas and JJs' kids right now then having to go through this all night. Naomi was looking really beautiful and she thought she may not contain herself from saying it. And that was sure to be a disaster."

* * *

_"Oh is everyone leaving already…you mustn't go yet…It's way too early to leave, right Em?"_

Emily didn't even notice that Naomi was actually following her back to where all their friends were as she had existed the backroom way faster than even she could've thought. But when she heard her voice her body once again froze and she thought she may not be able to breath. This was way too much for Emily to handle, even if she tried. Yes, she was letting go and she was being a better person…but she really wasn't able to put up with having Naomi follow her around everywhere on the day before she was going to get married to some Spanish-German twat.

She didn't even turn around to say anything to Naomi. She pretty much ignored what she had said and walked right over to Cook to ask him to lead her over to the area where she could get a cab home. Her neurons weren't firing enough transmitters to remember how to give directions in German, or in English…or even where to walk. She was just numb and there was no feelings going through her body. It was just what she had been hoping for a few minutes before when she was Naoms but the fucking drugs that she's prescribed never seemed to kick in at the correct time. Ever.

_"You gonna be okay babes?"_

_"Yes, I am just gonna go to the hotel…then stay up with the lads until I possibly can while I get nice and tired of playing video games and then I am going to bed. OK?"_

Cook was being way too nice to her. He hadn't even called her Emilio, not that she'd notice anyway. She only had brain power to process a couple of words at the same time. Now she was in the cab, talking to a German guy who also did not understand a single word she was saying and she nodded and would answer her back in German.

_"I just had to get the fuck out of there. If it wasn't because I spent so much fucking money on those darn last minute plane tickets here I'd probably just tell you to take me right to the airport. I think I've got my passport in here."_

Her passport was in the hotel and that's what kept her from deciding to just stay the night. Also, there was a great possibility that there were no flights going out anywhere at that hour…and even if there were….they were probably all booked. She thought she was falling asleep in the cab, and she probably did because she really couldn't remember how suddenly she was sitting next to JJ , who had his son Ollie on his lap while Merv, Panda's older son, kept on playing super Mario on the Wii.

_"I am just gonna head to bed Jay…I don't think I've got any more energy in me. I really don't even know if I am talking to you right now or if you're like some kind of dream. Either way…tell Panda not to wake me to early."_


	7. Chapter 7

Emily opened her eyes as she heard some yelling coming from the other bedroom and thought it was Panda's voice. She didn't know how long she'd been asleep but had to admit she felt way better than the night before.

_"Panda?"_

Yup, it was Panda. She sounded weird. She asked her for a glass of water and told her Thomas and Jay had taken the kids out and that Lara was in some kind of spa and wasn't answering her texts. They were trying to save money by not calling. She wanted Emsy to wifi call him or to go down to a pharmacy and get her something for her stomach. Panda had been throwing up for a couple of hours now.

_"Don't tell me you've got another Thomas Jr. on the way"_

She denied her and told her that she had made Thomas get the snippet after they had Tommy. She said she had eaten some really funky looking Spanish food the night before and that she had woken up and hadn't been able to stop throwing up.

_"Maybe that's why I got sick last night too…maybe Carlos' evil Spaniard family is trying to kill us all with Paella because we are a huge embarrassment to their family and peers"_

Emily was definitely in a rough mood, but then again…when wasn't she? She got into an even worse mood when Panda informed her that Effy was about to come over to take her and Naomi to do some last minute shopping and some walking around Salzburg before the wedding on the next day. She was in a bad mood because she didn't want to see Effy and she certainly wasn't even asked if she wanted to come along. She was just told what to do. As if she had nothing better to do…which she didn't. But this was for Naomi's fucking wedding. Why in the hell would they think it'd be okay for Emily to come have like some kind of girls' day before Naomi's wedding….that wasn't normal. But then again…her friends were never exactly normal…so she should've expected it.

* * *

Why she was walking into the Munich central station, she did not know. All she knew was she had already said that she'd go and she actually was feeling much better after getting something into her stomach. She couldn't say the same for Panda.

_"Excuse me…Do you speak English?"_

_"English and German and Italian and a little Spanish…"_

It was Freddy. He looked taller than Emily remembered him but she was actually glad to see him because he had been the only one out of everyone who had offered her support when Naomi had met Carlos on her trip. He knew what it was like because he was still battling the whole thing with Effy….and now that she was with Cook again…it was even worse.

_"Do you know where this is? I am supposed to meet up with…"_

_"Effy…I know…me too…"_

_"You too?"_

_"Yea"_

His smile was rather amusing to her. She wished she could be smiling like that. It was a smile of a man who was sticking it to Cook behind his back with Effy. She knew it because she had seen that smile before on him every time he did that and it was really amusing.

_"I am glad you're fucking Effy again…this fucking crew was starting to get boring with all them kids and weddings…"_

_"And no Katie…"_

He actually made her laugh for a minute.

_"Yea…and no Katie. Everyone is too fucking normal all of a sudden. I liked it better when we were all mental."_

_"I heard you're still a little mental…kind of an irony, considering you were the most normal one of the whole bunch…don't you think?"_

_"Well shit happens, y'now"_

Freds knew. Emily knew. They both shared that sense of betrayal from the person they loved the most and couldn't help but smoke their misery away while they waited for Effy and Naomi to arrive.

_"I just don't understand how it is that you still go after Effy, after you know she's now with Cook again…for no reason whatsoever."_

_"I love her, I guess…"_

See, those were the things that Emily did not understand. How could Freddie be so fucking calm and collected about the entire situation when she had been shitting bricks ever since Naomi had started dating this tosser…and she could never stop.

_"You're really incredible…you've got more zen then fucking Dalai Lama…I don't know how you do it."_

_"Well, this helps a lot" he said once again joking while he passed her the spliff so she could finish it up. _

_"Right"_

_"And also…I just decided to let it go…"_

_"Let what go?"_

_"Effy…Cook…my feelings. I just decided one day that if I kept on allowing myself to play this game and my feeling to own me…I was gonna end up dead or some shit like that."_

Freds was right. He was just as right as the priest and Cook and Pandora, and her seat mate…everyone was telling Emily to just let go of the whole ordeal and let it work out on its own. She had been too fucking stubborn and greedy to see it. It was the only thing she could do now…let go of Naomi…let go and wait to see if it was true that she'd come back.


	8. Chapter 8

_"You're fucking right"_ Emily said giving the last bit of spliff back to Freddy so he could finish it up while she started to walk away.

She turned around and started to figure out the German word for exit, while all of a sudden she found herself staring straight into the eyes of someone who she found was staring right back. It was Naomi.

"We got here just in time, ey" She said handing Effy the train tickets and a small bag of goodies they had bought for the trip to Austria.

_"In time for what?"_ Said Emily a bit uncomfortable with the entire situation.

_"Our train is about to depart."_ Naomi said handing both Freddy and Emily their respective tickets.

Emily looked at Fred, trying to find the answer to whether she should go on this stupid trip or bail out with some excuse. But he couldn't stop looking at Effy and she saw in his eyes that letting go wasn't as easy as he had proposed just a minute prior.

_"Alright, well let's get the fuck going then"_ Emily said as she pulled the spliff out of Fred's hand, took the last toke and threw it in the garbage bin nearby.

Then she proceeded to embark the train that she knew was only leading her to another wonderful day in the hell that was Naomi's pre-nuptial preparations. But she was too distracted by Naomi's beautiful blue eyes to notice where she was even going.

The train ride there was rather quiet. Since Effy and Fred spent the entire time snogging one another, Emily and Naomi had no choice but to actually sit and talk about the most random things they could ever find.

It was odd to hear them talking about those things, as if they were really just friends, as if they had never felt those things that Emily was still feeling while Naomi kept on constantly talking about the weather.

It was all so random. And it was all so stupid that it made Emily laugh at the mere thought of all that was happening.

But none of it mattered now because she was letting it all go. She was finding the strength that she didn't have before to be able to sit next to Naomi and not want to rip off her clothes and start making love to her until she stopped being such a stubborn arse and realize she loved her back.

Emily was finally letting go and it didn't matter that Naomi's leg kept on touching against her leg. It didn't matter how Emily could distinguish between what type of perfume and shampoo mix her new "mate" Naomi was wearing since she had memorized every single one of them. And Naomi was too anal to change them.

_"We are here mates"_ said Fred's with a smile on his face as Effy was held tight to his side and nibbling on his left ear little.

_"These two are unbelievable"_ Naomi said picking up her bag from the cart top store shelve and starting to walk behind the love birds. _"I can't believe they are doing this to Cook."_

_"Oh yea, poor Cook"_ Emily said laughing sarcastically at Naomi's comment about Freds and Effy.

_"I am not saying poor Cook, I know he hasn't been an angel or anything but at least he deserves some respect"_

_"He can't' expect a respect he doesn't give. He disrespects Effy and any other girl he's with at any chance he gets and I bet if things were backwards and Effy was throwing herself at him while she was still dating Freddy, he'd be all over her like butter on bread. So don't come to me with this nonsense about Cook deserving respect."_

After hearing all of that spiel, Naomi couldn't help but be quiet and just remain walking next to Emily who was still breathing hard from how upset she had gotten over her comment about Fred and Effy.

Naomi knew that it was very probable that Emily's response was more a reaction to her and not to the situation of Cook/Effy/Freds. She knew that Emily had to have some bitterness about what was going on and she could only blame herself. Maybe Effy was right about how inviting Emily to her wedding was a mistake.

But deep inside Naomi hoped for something different when she saw Emily. She hoped she could see her and not feel anything toward her ex-girlfriend, but there is a thin line between hope and reality. And the reality was that Naomi was just as stupefied with Emily Fitch as the day they had met back in middle school so many years ago. And she hated herself for it.


	9. Chapter 9

The day went by really fast in Munich and Emily did not tell Naomi anything else and instead she pulled out her camera and started to take pictures of everything she saw. For some reason, photography was the only thing that kept Emily sane and Lord knows she needed the most sanity she could have as she felt Naomi's eyes constantly looking at her as she made her every move.

But even though she knew Naomi couldn't keep her eyes off of her, she wasn't going to budge. Just like Fred and the priest and everyone else had told her, the only way to find peace with this thing was to let go of Naomi and all the drama behind her. And that is exactly what she was doing.

"_We should go up to the Hohensalzburg Castle before we go home_" proposed Naomi to the other three while Emily was still busy taking pictures of the alps from the city square.

"_Actually, Effy and I were thinking of taking some time for ourselves now that we are finished with the shopping Naoms_" said Freddy as he took Effy's hand and started to walk away from the girls.

"_We will see you at 8, which is when the last train departs…go see your castle or whatever else you want to see and just meet us at the station like 15 minutes before. Have fun_"

* * *

So now Emily and Naomi were left alone. Although they had been together with Fred and Effy, their inability to detach themselves from one another was almost an equivalent to being by themselves…but just a bit different. Now within seconds they found themselves starting around, completely alone in this city without a witness to what was about to happen. And Emily felt that maybe she shouldn't let it happen but she also felt like this was the only chance she had before everything in both their lives changed. This was the last bit of time the universe had given her to come clean with Naomi. And she wasn't going to let that instant pass her by.

_"Sit down"_ Emily said to Naomi while putting her camera and the few bags she was carrying down on the floor near her.

Naomi sat on the fountain that was surrounded by tourists next to Emily who was so nervous that she couldn't stop twiddling her finger through her long hair.

"_I know this isn't the right time to tell you this, and I hope that this won't upset you in any way shape or form."_ She said as her voice started to turn scratchy and she started to feel like crying just a bit.

_"Emily, please don't"_ Naomi said taking a few fingers and placing them on Emily's lips to prevent her from going on. But Emily pushed them away.

Emily took a breath because she knew she wasn't able to say these words without crying and the least she wanted to do was cry like had been doing for so many years now.

_"This might be the last time that I get to do this, because after tomorrow everything in your life is going to change and we will never be able to be here…alone…like we are right now."_

Naomi's eyes started to water and her heart started to pound so hard that she thought she may be having a heart attack. Emily was so close to her, yet she had pushed her so far away that she knew that no matter what Emily told her right now…nothing would be able to crash this great wall of nonsense that she had pushed herself to build between them both. Or at least she thought nothing ever could.

_"Naomi"_ she said taking one last breath before she started talking to her again. _"I wanted to tell you that I am very happy that you've found love in Carlos and that you've got a happy life, near happy people who all fly from so many different places in the world that you could hardly count them. And that I am happy that you are finally able to commit yourself to someone who you believe is the right person for you."_

Naomi wasn't sure she was hearing Emily's words correctly.

_"Emily you don't have to pretend you're happy for me_…"

_"I am not pretending"_ she said with a very serious tone that stopped Naomi right on her tracks.

_"I know it took me a long time to realize it all, and I know that you must've heard from everyone that I had been going a bit mental after you broke up with me, but…"_

_"Emily, I still…"_

_"Let me finish Naoms…please."_

Naomi just stared at her with her great blue eyes trying desperately not to allow herself to cry.

_"I want to let you know that…from now one you'll never have to bothered by anything else that has to do with or my crazy family. Naomi, mate…I've decided to let you go."_


	10. Chapter 10

The train way back was the most silent train ride Naomi had taken as she found herself hardly able to breathe about all that was happening with her right now. In front of her were Effy and Freddy tucked together like two kids on Valentine's Day, completely asleep in one another's arms.

Right next to her was Emily, also asleep against the window of the train. She was hardly able to look at her, even though she wanted nothing more than to stay on that train so that she was able to just stare at her like that forever.

It had been such a long time since she had watched her sleep. She slept in the same position she always did and she never moved, which was convenient because Naomi tossed and turned a lot during the night and end up stealing all the pillows.

Suddenly all of that was happening, along with the memories of what she had been with Emily were mixing in her mind like some kind of venom that did nothing but break her from the insides.

All she felt was pain. Pain all over her every organ, even her eyelashes were in pain. And she wanted to cry but she knew she couldn't or maybe she shouldn't. She wasn't sure which of the two was correct.

All she knew was that all that was so clear to her just hours before was just melting her every bit of inside and now she was starting to feel desperate enough that she might jump out the window, if she could.

_"God, what have I done?"_ She said to herself as she checked the clock and notice she was only a few minutes from arrival back to Munich. She stood up and walked over to the loo and splashed her face with some cold water and then took some deep breaths before she started to feel the train decelerate and she started to see the signs for _Munich Hauptbahnhof. _

She ran to her seat and took her bags and the few things she had purchased in Salzburg and ran to the door before she felt the train come to a complete stop. Then she ran out of there and didn't look back. She didn't say goodbye to Effy or Freds…she didn't even have the common courtesy to wake up Emily. She knew she was going to hate her for not doing so. But at the moment she had no brain stamina to think of these things. All she had time for was one last stop before heading to hotel. She couldn't let this pass by.

_"Carlos, cariño…we need to talk…"_

* * *

She decided to pamper herself and request an upgrade to first class during that flight home from Munich. Emily Fitch was exhausted from all the walking she had done and she concentrated on getting all things and getting the heck out of Germany and back home where she felt she belonged.

And as the plane landed in Miami she opened her window and could see the clear blue sky and the bright beautiful colors of this place she now called home.

The journey to Munich had been long and arduous and she was just glad that was able to get home and just take a few days to veg out. She need to rest and chill out. She felt she hadn't rested in ages.

"_We need to go and party tonight_" She said to her mate Cassie on the phone just a few minutes before getting completely naked and jumping into bed.

"_I'll be at your flat at 11, then_" Cassie said as calmly as she had always been, ever since she'd met each other at Effy's brother's wedding.

After taking a last sip of some tea she had prepared earlier, she closed her eyes and for the first time since she could remember everything was just alright. She had no thoughts of Naomi, no thoughts of her wedding or of anyone or anything else beside her lying on her bed and sleeping.

Her only thought before going to sleep was very comforting. It was almost heaven sent.

"_I've let you go_" she said very softly as she fell right into sleep and then slept for several hours before she felt Cassie sitting next to her with a drink in her hand asking her to get up and get ready to party.

And then all she could do was smile at her friend. She was actually happy. She was actually tranquil. She was actually able to let go.

"_Well don't you look happy? Were you able to break up the wedding? Is Naomi hiding behind some curtain somewhere or did you send her out for more tea?"_ was what Cassie said as she saw Emily's face lit up for the first time since she had met her.

"_No_" she answered her with a very tranquil voice and then stealing a bit of tea from her mate's cup.

"_By this time she's probably Mrs. Naomi Campbell Figueroa and truthfully, I could care less."_

_"Oh wow"_ was all she was able to say before Emily even let her start talking again.

"_I know what you're gonna say…I am not on any drugs. I am just…at ease_."

"_At ease? Interesting_" Cassie said handing her a dress off the rack in Emily's closet and motioning toward the bathroom so that she would start getting ready.

Emily did not say anything at all. She knew Cassie understood. She had gone through something similar with Sid and was now happy and single. Just as Emily felt as she showered and got made up to go out to party with Cassie and all her friends.

_"Alright Ms. At-ease…you wanna tell me where you want to go hit it up tonight?"_ Said Cassie as she walked through the high rise into the car lot where Emily had parked her car.

_"Let's hit the beach"_ Emily said almost laughing at the energy she felt through all her body. It was the best feeling she had in ages. And she was ready to make use of it as soon as possible.

_"We're in Miami, bitch…"_ Cassie sang along with the radio in Emily's car and they sped away down the car lot in the street.

There she was, Emily Fitch without Naomi Campbell and for once she was happy and free and at ease and tranquil…and all she had to do was to just let go.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's note: The next chapter of this story will continue on my new Fanfic named KATIE AND THE MEXICAN.

_Summary: After letting Naomi go, Emily decides to take a trip to Belize with her good friend Cassie...maybe she can let go of Naomi...but there's one person in her life she would NEVER be able to let go of. No matter how hard she tries._

If you'd like to follow this story you may access it through my profile or at story/story_edit_ ?storyid=9790043.

Thank you for reading!


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